Some nights you are so much a part of me it’s like you are next to me in bed,
with your quiet breaths and occasional snores.
Other nights you seem like a dream.
So far from possibility.
But, then I think of your smell.
My face in you as we sleep.
Your hand around my breast,
my foot between your legs.
Drifting off with a constant awareness of the other person’s presence,
but somehow able to sleep soundly. A miracle!
Are both heavy and not important
at the same time.
Because no matter what,
your voice is there in the morning.
Rambling about the weather and coffee and music,
and it’s the start of another day.
I took a chance
knowing the music would be good
To sit with someone as they left and
we got closer and
For that day, there was possibility
It was a drive to the unknown
Both a beginning and an end
So we held hands and talked
And sat in silence
Like it had always been that way and like it could never be again
It was a good drive.
As the heat presses down and the smell of summer storms surrounds me,
I am unable to avoid the thought of you.
The hope that in the autumn of our lives we found something real
and falling leaves signify the end of searching for someone to travel with into winter.
Someone to hold close and embrace in the cold as we move to another year.
Another chance to get it right and welcome the coming of spring
as we celebrate the beauty of something new.
I am thinking about you
I miss you
I want to share music with you
Something makes me laugh
And I know you would too
I remember that you know
That I am waiting
And that this is your choice
To not share or laugh
That I told you I was here
When you were ready
I am ok with waiting
Because I know that I said everything I felt
That I stood up for what I deserve
Closure or another chance
But sometimes I cry and
I want you in my life
I miss you and get mad
At myself for thinking
you would be there
Because you aren’t here
I was wrong
Like I have been before
Like I will be again
Like I am
And I question if you were real
If you miss me too
And if you are wondering
If I you should reach out
And the answer is yes
there is a tune in my head that
I cannot stop hearing
a story of us and a feeling of longing
sometimes the song is loud and poundin
rattling my bones
sometimes soft and melancholy
caressing my skin
but it is always unfinished, drawn out
and the lyrics are raw,
like me when I think of what is
lost and how time changes
everything and nothing
at the same time
but the beat is my heart and it is
strong and can go on
until the end finally comes
and the next song begins
Just your ordinary introvert exploring and writing about some of the things I love: travel, music, and being human.